PATIENCE = hard, but i'll give my best shot.

today, i spent most of my day hours at home. i started to go out only around 7pm.. and i already reached home by 11.
with that very short time of going out; a friend told me in the midst of dinner "be patience".
and when i got home i read a quote from a friend; it said " a handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains."
and you know what's the quote of the day on my church's site? it's "be not angry that can not make others as you wish them to be, since you can not make yourself as you wish to be."
eheemm.. if i combine all of them, they actually lead to an answer of my query.
there are moments which you think is the darkest point of your life, and when you face it you might just need a patience. well, im not facing my darkest valley of life, but it tastes bitter during the season and you might just not want to be patient.
Patience is a word that sounds very simple in the ear, but if you really want to try it; its really h-a-r-d. Taking the first step can be easier, but when you're at the midst and you just can't hold on anymore; you'll shout.. i need patience so that i can be patient enough. well its not that easy being patient and you might just giving up in the middle.
When everything seems to goes wrong, and it is not like how you want it to be; when you can't think carefully and you can't "hear" purely, just take a deep breath, continue life.. yet don't make any decision until you feel better.
Facing today is very tiring, i myself dunno why; but there's something that i can't just tell anyone. the only one that i wish to share with is not around and busy for papers. and it's very hard to get through that person cell. Just now, God reminds me one thing..during obstacles and dealing with problems; never rely to your friends for they're not forever. they can help and but they can also harm you.. be selective when choosing who to believe. when you face a dead end; and your friends seem to be busy with their own things; when they are just half-hearted.. you're never alone. Listen to God.. He has something to say.. Jeremia29:11 really strengthen me.
So.. if you have difficulties.. please find God before you find your friends for you yourself always say "im closest to Him" but you never find Him as the first rescue... (Mat 15:8 "this people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me")

J.. i still believe in your promise that You'll not give me burdens that I can't handle. help me to walk with faith and not by side.. so that my life will always tells about Your love, and not fear.
Even when i cry, i'll say "You're faithful, because Your Joy is my strength."